An intercultural conflict

This intercultural conflict happened when I was pretty young during a holiday at Mexico with my parents. It was supposed to be a 2 week holiday for my whole family to de-stress, especially for me as I had just finished my ‘A’ level examinations. However, it became a fiasco when cultural differences caused my mother much unhappiness.

Salma, my mother’s Mexican friend, invited all her friends, including my family, to her house for her 40th birthday dinner. Mexicans love such gatherings a lot! My parents were in awe with the sumptuous Mexican dinner which Salma had specially prepared for us. There were Mexican cheese pizza, Mexican soup, home-made Mexican bread and many more. We were indulging ourselves with the food happily and were very thankful for Salma’s hospitality.

After eating our fill, my mother told my father and me to leave the table out of courtesy as there seemed to be many people standing around and waiting for seats to have their dinner. Surprisingly, when we stood up, the Mexicans sitting at the table stared at us as if we had offended them. Salma’s husband, Bruno, then shouted across the table, “It’s so rude of you to leave the table just like that! Don’t you all have manners?” My parents were utterly shocked! My mother, not being able to tolerate such rudeness, shouted and argued back as well. But Bruno continued to be unreasonable and my mother became very frustrated. She stomped out of the dining hall.

Salma, who was in the kitchen earlier, learned about the situation and so, she tried to pacify both Bruno and my mother. She then explained to my family that in some Asian countries like Singapore, it is well mannered to leave right after dinner so as not to hog the seats. The ones who do not leave may indicate that they have not eaten enough. However, in the Mexican culture, this is rude as it indicates that the guests only want to eat but do not enjoy the company of the hosts. My mother eventually understood and apologized to both Salma and Bruno. Bruno also understood and accepted my mother's apology.

Personally, I feel that this incident is probably an unfortunate misunderstanding of different countries' cultures. In addition, both my mother and Bruno had also displayed very low EQ skills when they argued with each other in front of other guests. They did not self regulate their emotions well. It was a conflict which could be well prevented if Bruno had spoken to my mother privately about his feelings and had allowed her to explain herself. Nevertheless, this incident has reminded me that “when (we’re) in Rome, do as the Romans do”. Every country has its own set of cultures and beliefs. It will be most ideal if everyone learns to understand and give in to one another's cultures!

On a side note, fortunately for my case, the friendship between my mother and Salma was not ruined due to this misunderstanding of cultures.