My NUS Science Club boss, Mary, and I, together with our entire committee, organised the Valentine’s Day Bazaar in the Faculty of Science. On that day, we hired external vendors to set up booths to sell items for a cause. We allowed our project directors and their committee members to do so as well. The whole purpose of this bazaar was to raise funds for our Freshmen Orientation Projects. Booths were randomly allocated and Mary specified that no one was to change the location of their booths.
On that faithful day, the sports director, John, realised that his booth was at an unfavourable location as there was low human traffic. Subsequently, he went around asking if anyone was willing to swap booths with him. One external vendor agreed and the swap took place. He thought it was alright not to inform Mary about the swap since the swap was mutually agreed. Do you think it was right of him to do so?
When Mary found out about the swap after her laboratory, she was enraged! She felt that John did not respect her at all as she was the event organiser. Being irrational, she closed down John’s booth, preventing his committee from selling their items. If you were her, would you have felt the same way too? When John realised that Mary had done that, John was even more infuriated! What made it worse was when he accidentally sent a SMS to her which stated “That stupid bitch closed my booth. What are we going to do?”. This SMS was supposedly meant for his Vice director, Paul. John soon realised his blunder and repeatedly apologised through SMS shortly after. He tried calling her but she did not answer his call. If you were John, how would you salvage the situation?
This unfortunate misunderstanding soured their working relationship by a great deal! When John explained and complained to me what had happened, I merely consoled him as I really did not know how to help him and did not dare to approach Mary. Do you think I should interfere if you were me?
UCS1001 S21 Tri1 2024-25
3 weeks ago
As booths were allocated randomly, I understand how John felt when he got one which was not strategic at all. I would probably do what John did, which was to get someone who was willing to swap except that I would reason with Mary first as she specifically stated that change of booth was not allowed.
ReplyDeleteAs for Mary, I know she just wanted to be fair to everyone and had she allowed the swapping, other vendors who were dissatisfied with their allocated booths would demand the same thing too and she would probably end up with more problems. Nevertheless, I disapprove of her rash decision in closing down John's booth as she could have handled the matter in a more professional manner, like letting John know that he was putting her in a very difficult position and that it would be wrong of her to bend the rule. She could have suggested that John put someone in areas with many people to direct them to his booth or any other means to promote whatever he was selling.
Calling a person "stupid bitch" is nothing short of a personal attack. Here, John and Mary had one thing in common: they both let their anger got the better of them. As written in your post, the consequences were disastrous. If I were John, I would ask a close friend of Mary to help me arrange a face-to-face meeting with Mary and see if we could bury the hatchet.
Face the wrath of the female boss. Haha. Just kidding.
ReplyDeleteJohn was wrong for not thinking in the shoes of Mary. If Mary allowed swapping, it would be chaotic for Mary to handle all the potential swap requests. Furthermore, the rule of not swapping was stated before the bazaar was set up. John could not blame Mary as it was all in the "terms and conditions."
As Mary would be hold accountable for the bazaar, John's decision not to inform her could have ended up with serious consequences. Mary would not be able to explain what happened and why was there a swap should the other vendors complained.
However, i feel that Mary had over-reacted. She could have reprimanded John and explained her reasons for not allowing swaps. By closing down John's booth, she had forgotten about the main goal behind the bazaar, which is to raise funds for a cause.
As for the SMS, i would think Mary read too much into it. I would not blame her for that given the context but they are just words used when in anger. Unless Mary has never called someone a stupid bitch or a freak before.
Since calls or sms will not work, John can try to apologize to Mary in a face to face context. Buy her favourite chocolates or treat her to a meal. She is after all the big boss. He can't afford to be in her bad books.
You can try speaking to Mary with a general stand or by siding with her. However try telling her that being the boss, she should be more forgiving. Other members may feel that she has a big heart and will not feel as threatened working under her. The other members might even find it enjoyable to work under her and willing to do their best for her. The big picture should be the Science Club, not her.
- Chee Siang
Must be tough working under people like Mary. Especially since you mentioned you dare not approach her.
Hello Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI think both parties are at fault here. John should have put himself in Mary's shoes before making the swap and considered the potential negative impact it would have given rise to.
I felt Mary's reaction to close the booth without John's knowledge was also rather uncalled for. It might have been better to confront John in a strict but calm manner to seek his explanation before implementing any action.
With regards to the SMS, thats a tough call. I guess the mistake just increased the tension between the both of them. Guess it goes to show how emotions can get the better of us sometimes and we need to find a way to keep them in check, difficult as it may be.
Thats my take on this issue.
rgds,
aldrich
Oh my goodness, seems like a minor issue got sort of out of hand here??Firstly, I think Mary should not have been so harsh as to close down John's booth even though John was in the wrong. She should have approached him and find out the reason behind his decision to change the booth location and tell him nicely that he was supposed to inform her beforehand. If she had done so, I believe that John would have apologised on the spot.Secondly, John should not have used strong words like b***h to refer to Mary, even if the sms wasn't meant for her eyes. SMSes can serve as a record against what the sender wrote, and what if the intended recipient showed it to Mary?? The consequences would have been the same.Never ever text someone when agitated! It really worsens things ): Just ask all the people in a relationship!!
ReplyDeleteOn a footnote, John was probably enthusiastic about this fundraising event and wanted to bring in as much earnings as he could. Good motive to start with, however he could have applied some consequential thinking beforehand. Would this initial swapping of locations possibly spark off a chain reaction of potential location swapping? What if things go out of hand, who would have to account to the mess in the end?
ReplyDeleteNaturally, one has the rights to be angry when one’s instruction is not followed after making an announcement. Despite that, Mary should be more self-aware of her actions and other’s feelings. She also should have better managed her emotions and not carry out hasty decisions that would not benefit the fundraising event. Moreover, John’s foolish act of unintentionally sending Mary a demeaning SMS was an act of bad self-management. Spouting vulgarities does not solve problems and flexibility to the situation is more sought after under this circumstance.
Mary should exercise optimism and try to empathize John and his action. Even though the swapping was already completed, Mary could have easily compromise, or handle this situation in a more positive way. Either ways, John might not have resorted to sending a SMS badmouthing Mary.
If John really wants to preserve the relationship with Mary, he must employ a face-to-face apology. In this case, a third party mediator would not be too bad of an idea since the animosity stopped after the SMS was sent.
Regards,
Ivan
Dear Sarah,
ReplyDeleteYou do a very good job of describing the people involved in this conflict and the problem itself. What may confuse your readers though is all the questions. In fact, the assignment really only calls for one so that the reader can clearly address a particular aspect of the scenario.
In any case, your classmates give lots of insightful feedback. Thanks for posting this